


because it's you

by Juudals



Series: because it's you [1]
Category: B-PROJECT 鼓動＊アンビシャス | B-PROJECT: Kodou Ambitious
Genre: Alternate POV, M/M, Mutual Pining, Soulmate AU, moments of falling in love, soulmate writing au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2020-09-08 02:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20280061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juudals/pseuds/Juudals
Summary: Somewhere, his Soulmate had written on their skin and in turn, it had appeared on Tomohisa's. It's something that happened every day to multiple people throughout the world. Once someone reached around their teenage years, as they got older it became more and more likely that writing would appear. Writing of the person that was supposed to be your perfect match.Was this flipping sensation in his chest because his Soulmate's writing appeared or was it the thought that it might be Ryuji that made him feel like this?Did he want Ryuji to be his Soulmate?I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR THIS STORY TO BE ON ANY SITE/APP OTHER THAN AO3





	1. Connection

**Author's Note:**

> A sort of short project I started on for when I have writers block for my other stuff. I've always wanted to try doing a Soulmate AU because why not so I'm really happy to casually do this~
> 
> I don't expect it to be too long but hope people enjoy it all the same!
> 
> Thank you for reading!

“Let's stop for the day, I'm beat...”

Tomohisa looked up and watched Ryuji's reflection in the mirror move to the floor and laying on his back. When Tomohisa turned around, he couldn't help but laugh at the way his arms and legs were spread out.

“You look like a starfish, Ryuji.”

“Shut up...” Ryuji rolled his eyes before pushing himself up to go get his water that was off to the side of the room. He grabbed Tomohisa's at the same time, holding it out to him.

“Here.”

“Thanks.” Tomohisa smiled as he went over. As he took the water, he noticed Ryuji's nails were painted a dark purple. Without thinking, he said, “You have cute hands, Ryuji.”

Ryuji choked on his drink.

“What...what the hell...” Ryuji coughed. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and gave Tomohisa a baffled look. “Do you always say stuff like that so easily?”

“Like what?” Tomohisa tipped his head to the side, a little confused.

“..I really don't get you sometimes, Tomo,” Ryuji sighed. He twisted the lid back on his water bottle and started pulling out the short ponytail that held some of his hair back. “Let's go before our stuff get's locked up for the night.”

“Sure thing.”

As they headed for the locker room that their stuff was kept in, Tomohisa couldn't help but still marvel over the fact Ryuji let him do extra practices together even if it's been almost of month of them doing so. When he first heard about it, he didn't really understand why Ryuji would stay longer after their lessons were over. Most of the other kids were eager to leave soon after their day was over with. But then after hearing Ryuji talk about wanting to be better at what he does so no one could talk down to him, the passion in his voice and the way his eyes would light up with determination had stuck something in Tomohisa. He admired the strong feelings Ryuji expressed. Right away, he realized how much he liked this about Ryuji and wanted to get to know him better.

He wasn't sure if Ryuji would let him practice with him when he first asked and was glad when he said it was okay, as long as he didn't distract him too much. He even told Tomohisa to call him by his first, which Tomohisa more than happy to do. Then not long after, he'd gotten Ryuji to call him by his name too. Though that only lasted a couple days before Ryuji suddenly switched to, “Tomo”, stating he thought that suited him better. Never having a nickname before, Tomohisa was surprised how happy it made him.

They still had their bumpy moments but Tomohisa was happy that they were becoming friends.

“Ah, seriously...” Ryuji's distressed tone quickly caught Tomohisa's attention. He looked over to see Ryuji crouched down, holding his pink sweater.

“What's wrong?”

“...nothing. Just a tear in the sleeve.” Ryuji grabbed his bag and started to stuff his sweater inside but it ended up slipping from his grasp and onto the floor. Tomohisa bent to pick it up for him and his eyes widened.

“Ryuji, this is-”

The sweater was pulled from his hands. Without meeting his eyes, Ryuji put it in his bag.

“It's nothing I can't fix. I'll see you tomorrow, Tomo.”

Before Tomohisa could think of anything to say, Ryuji slung the bag over his shoulder and hurried out of the room.

“Ryuji...” He wanted to go after him but that would probably upset him even more. Sighing, Tomohisa against the lockers and ran a hand through his hair.

He knew he wasn't seeing things. Ryuji's sweater was torn in several places. Like someone had...

Tomohisa frowned.

Would those people really do something like this? Cut up someone's clothes just because of petty jealousy? He didn't want to think so, but he couldn't deny that it wouldn't surprise him. Now that he knew what to look for, he's noticed these last few weeks just how much some people didn't like Ryuji. Those two boys in particular seemed to have it out for him.

An irritation that he wasn't used to came to his chest. He wished he could do something to make it stop but he also didn't want to upset Ryuji like before. Tomohisa didn't regret stepping in when he did, he doubt he would if he ever had to a second time, but he understood now that Ryuji liked to handle things himself. There was also a chance that Tomohisa could make things worse for Ryuji by interfering and he really didn't want that to happen.

“A complicated situation...” Tomohisa murmured to himself. He really didn't know what to do. Maybe when the timing was right and they knew each other better, he could ask Ryuji. He wasn't comfortable just not doing anything but it was clear Ryuji did have lines he didn't want to be crossed by other people, especially those he wasn't close with.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Tomohisa realized he should hurry outside. Andy was probably waiting for awhile now for him to come out.

He gathered the rest of his things and slipped on his jacket. Then just as closed the locker door, Tomohisa felt his hand burn and quickly pulled back.

“What the...” he looked at his hand, feeling a strange tingling along him palm.

Small and slightly slanted purple letters started to form. When they were complete, they were only two words that read,

_pink thread_

Stunned, Tomohisa couldn't stop staring at his hand. At the back of his mind, he understood what it meant. It was hard not to know.

Tomohisa understood this very well.

Yet he still couldn't fully wrap his mind around it.

The timing was too much for him and all he could wonder is if Ryuji was standing outside somewhere putting away a putting away a purple pen he used to remind him to pick up thread he needed to fix his sweater.

* * *

Soulmates were a strange thing. At least, Tomohisa thought so.

He laid back on his bed, staring at the palm of his hand.

Somewhere, his Soulmate had written on their skin and in turn, it had appeared on Tomohisa's. It's something that happened every day to multiple people throughout the world. Once someone reached around their teenage years, as they got older it became more and more likely that writing would appear. Writing of the person that was supposed to be your perfect match.

Tomohisa would be lying if he said the thoughts never crossed his mind but he was sure he thought about it less than most people. His parents weren't Soulmates. His father once told him that he's never had writing appear on him and his mother said that once she met his father, she didn't want to be with anyone else so it didn't matter if she ever found out her Soulmate was. She was perfectly happy with her love and the family they started and Tomohisa's father was just as content.

So Tomohisa knew that you didn't have to find your supposed perfect match to be happy. He liked overhearing the joy the people around him got when suddenly writing would show up, the curiosity in their voices as they tried to figure out if they could recognize it at all.

Looking at the writing on his hand, Tomohisa thought he could understand that feeling better now but he was still a little uncertain about it.

Was this flipping sensation in his chest because his Soulmate's writing appeared or was it the thought that it might be Ryuji that made him feel like this?

Did he want Ryuji to be his Soulmate? He knew he found him attractive. It was hard not to. He knew he admired Ryuji's sense of professionalism and how hard he worked. It made Tomohisa want to know more about him, understand him better and be there for him.

But did that mean he wanted to be Ryuji's Soulmate?

* * *

Tomohisa didn't know how to approach Ryuji about this. It really could have been a well timed coincidence. Still, Tomohisa couldn't shake the feeling that told him to at least try asking Ryuji about it.

So he waited until lessons were over for the day, he hurried over to where Ryuji was at the other side of the room with Yuta.

“Ryuji, can we talk? There's something I want to ask.”

Ryuji glanced at Yuta to see if it was okay and Yuta nodded, rushing over to where Goshi was. They could hear him trying to convince Goshi to do some extra dance practice with him.

“So, what is it?” Ryuji gave him a wary look.

“Do you use a purple pen?”

“A purple...” Ryuji frowned, confused. “Um, sometimes I guess. Why?”

Unsure what to say next, Tomohisa just held out his hand. Ryuji glanced down at it briefly. At first he seemed to make nothing of it. A second later, his eyes widened as he finally registered what he just saw. When he grabbed Tomohisa’s hand, Tomohisa could feel the slight tremble in his fingers.

“No way...” Ryuji shook his head.

“Ryuji-“

But Ryuji had dropped his hand and quickly turned on his heel. Tomohisa could only watch helplessly as Ryuji grabbed his water bottle and hurried to the door. He walked passed Yuta, who had rushed over after seeing his friend looking upset. Yuta gave Tomohisa a confused look before following Ryuji out of the room.

* * *

Ryuji didn't show up the next day. Or the day after. A week of lessons had passed but there was still no sign of him. Tomohisa grew more or more concerned as each day flew by.

Was it his fault Ryuji wasn't showing up? Part of him was afraid that was the case. He didn't want Ryuji to suddenly drop out from Bambi. After seeing how hard he worked, he didn't want to be the reason that drove him away from something he so clearly cared about like crazy.

He had asked Yuta if he knew anything but Yuta seemed just as lost as he was, saying he'd try calling but there had been no answer whenever he'd try.

Later at home, Tomohisa couldn't get his thoughts to focus on anything other than Ryuji. If he was sick than someone would have still answered when Yuta tried calling. He tapped his pencil against his notebook. Maybe something happened with his family. If that was the case, then it wouldn't be too unusual for no calls being accepted right now, right?

Part of Tomohisa felt tempted to go online to see if anything was there but it pushed that train of thought away. All he knew about Ryuji's home life was that he was the son of actors. Even if he knew their names, it felt wrong to look for gossip about this. Now that he thought of it, he didn't even know if 'Korekuni' was really Ryuji's last name.

With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair. There was one way he could try checking up on Ryuji but he didn't now for sure if it would work. Not really.

That first time could have been a coincidence. But the timing with Tomohisa showing Ryuji his hand and now Ryuji not showing up all week...it worried him.

He knew it was a long shot but he had to try.

So after taking a pen that was sitting at the edge of his desk, he wrote on the back of his hand, _Are you okay?, _and waited.

A minute passed by. Then another. And another. It was going on ten minutes when Tomohisa felt his right hand tingle. So he really was left handed...

_I don’t know_

The writing was messier than before but still similar.

_Do you want to talk?_

It was a risk asking this. He didn’t even fully know for sure if it really was Ryuji that he was connecting to. What if he wasn’t? Then wouldn’t it seem weird asking this?

Several minutes passed by before he got a reply. It took him a moment to realize the numbers he was looking at now were a phone number.

Tomohisa didn't miss a beat in calling him.

The phone barely rang three times before there was an answer.

“_To-Tomo?_”

He sounded hesitant. Like he’d been as unsure as Tomohisa had been about this.

“It’s me,” he confirmed. He wondered if Ryuji was able to hear how relieved he felt. He took a deep breath, hoping he was able to keep his voice steady. “You...you haven’t been to Bambi lately. I got worried and thought...”

“_...something came up at home. It’s...it’s a little hard to leave right now._”

“Are you okay?” Didn’t he already ask this? “Is there something I can do to help?”

“_You’re really asking me that?_” Ryuji sighed. Tomohisa wondered if he annoyed him again.

“_Actually, can you..._” his voice trailed off, sounding unsure again. So Tomohisa waited. “...c_an you just stay on the phone with me? For a little while? I don’t...I really don’t want to leave my room._”

“Of course,” Tomohisa didn’t hesitate in his answer. He got up to settle down on his bed and propped up the pillows behind him. “As long as you need me to be here.”

“..._t__hanks._”

Tomohisa lost track of how long they were on the phone together. Sometimes they talked about their lessons in Bambi and what they liked or had a hard time with. Ryuji told him a little about his middle school but didn’t really go into much detail about that. He asked about Tomohisa’s family and if it was true they owned a hospital. Tomohisa asked at some point if Ryuji had a favourite colour but surprisingly enough, Ryuji said not really.

Sometimes there would be a long silence between topics. Tomohisa wondered if just knowing someone was there was enough to comfort Ryuji with whatever he was going through. Tomohisa was too nervous to ask, not sure if that was intruding too much.

“_Hey, Tomo..._”

“Yeah?”

“_You...you haven't asked what happened. Why I'm..._”

“I don't know how to ask about it,” Tomohisa admitted sheepishly. “I don't...I don't want to push you to tell me and make you upset. I just want you to be okay.”

Ryuji went quiet at first. There was a strange sound and it took Tomohisa a moment to realize Ryuji might be crying.

“_...thank you._”

Neither brought up the fact they were able to see each others writing and the meaning behind it. This wasn't the time for it. Not yet.

* * *

* * *

* * *

Ryuji stared at his arm. He knew the writing wouldn't disappear no matter how much he looked at it. Not for another 24 hours at least, unless it was washed off before that.

Still, part of him hoped it would just fade away already.

“Three months and this is what he finally writes...?” he muttered to himself.

If he was honest with himself, he didn't really expect much. Tomohisa didn't strike him as the type to write on himself often. That being said, Ryuji didn't think it would take this long for him to finally so and for it to be random words.

_Stars, Planets, Geography _

“I really don't get this guy,” He rubbed his hand along the letters, hoping that would ease the uncomfortable heat that pricked at his skin. When that didn't accomplish anything, he tugged his sleeve down again so it covered his forearm.

Was it normal for the writing to feel like this when it appeared? He's heard of it feeling warm when it happens for the first time but this felt like he touched hot metal. If this is how it felt for Tomohisa then Ryuji really wanted to chew him out for not giving him a heads up about it.

“Annoying...”

He started putting his dishes in the sink when he noticed a note stuck to the fridge that wasn't there last night.

_-Ryu_

_Your mother said she would try calling you after dinner tonight_

_hurry home after your practice _

Ryuji read the two lines over again before crushing the paper and tossing it into the garbage. When he grabbed his bag as he headed out the door, he briefly wondered how many times he's mentioned his practices go late on Sunday's.

* * *

He was used to notes like these. Since he started middle school, more often than not he would find a note somewhere in the kitchen or living room. Sometimes from someone in the family or the housekeeper that came around once a week.

Reminders for appointments. What time his next photoshoot was at. Promised times of phonecalls that usually fell through.

Lately, the amount of notes left was dwindling. He was getting used to it though. He expected it to happen once both his parents started taking work again that kept them away for longer periods of time.

Still, Ryuji couldn't fully break the habit of carrying around a pen with him everywhere he'd go. A habit he picked up from watching his parents write short little notes on their hands. It was how he had first learned about Soulmates and how people's writing could show up on each other.

Now that he thinks about it, even seeing his parents do that started to dwindle at some point, too.

* * *

“Why would you write on your forearm of all places?”

“Huh?”

Lessons went by quickly that day. Too quickly for Ryuji's liking so he might have dragged his feet when getting ready to leave. He hadn't expected to see Tomohisa standing outside still and in his surprised, ended up asking a question that had been bothering him since he woke up that morning.

Ryuji tapped his left arm and even if it was covered with his sleeve, Tomohisa picked up right away what he meant.

“Oh, that...sorry, it was the first place I thought of that I could cover up easily.” He explained sheepishly. “It feels weird when I try writing on my hand.”

“Well, it still felt weird for me. I thought I burned myself on something...” Ryuji muttered.

“Sorry, I should have told you it feels like that at first.”

“As long at it doesn't happen every time.”

“It won't. It's only the first time it feels like that.”

Ryuji nodded. He started fiddling with his bangs, wondering what to do. He could just start heading home but he didn't like the idea of Tomohisa waiting here alone.

“...so you like stars?”

He could feel Tomohisa's eyes on him but Ryuji kept his eyes to the ground. He wondered what kind of expression Tomohisa had but ignored the temptation to look.

“...I do.” Tomohisa answered after a pause.

“...do you...” Ryuji really didn't think this through. He didn't know what he even wanted to ask in the first place. “Do you stargaze a lot?”

“When I can. I have a few telescopes for it actually. I love astronomy so I always try to go stargazing whenever I can. If possible, I'd like to have my own planetarium to be able to go to whenever I want.”

Ryuji's grip on his bag went slack with surprise. He thinks this is the first time he's heard Tomohisa talk so much about something he truly enjoyed. He finally looked up at him and sure enough, Tomohisa's eyes were lit up like a child at a festival.

“Would you like to come with me some time?”

Ryuji blinked. He felt like he missed something.

“Come where?”

“Stargazing. There are certain times of year and places when you can only see certain types of constellations and other stars. Would you like to come do that with me?”

Ryuji hummed. That clicked something into place at least. So that's why geography was also written down.

He looked over Tomohisa, taking in his delighted expression. It was clear this was something Tomohisa loved to do. He started to wonder how often he really got to share this with someone.

“...okay.”

The word slipped from Ryuji's lips without conscious thought.

“Really!?” Tomohisa's eyes widened before he broke out in a wide smile. “That's great! I can't wait.”

Ryuji was surprised at how even more delighted this seemed to make Tomohisa. He had only asked about it because he thought it was weird for Tomohisa to write what he did on his forearm and now ended up with making plans with him.

Later that night, when he noticed the letters had started to fade away, he wondered if this wouldn't be as bad as he first thought. It didn't seem like he'd have to worry about Tomohisa writing on himself very often. If anything, Ryuji had a feeling he would be the worst for it so he'd have to keep some consideration in mind.

For now, though, he found he didn't hate the idea of this. It helped him get to know something new about Tomohisa at any rate and he couldn't fully dislike it because of that. At any rate, wondering what kinds of places Tomohisa liked going to to look at stars helped to take his mind off the fact he never did get a phone call that night.


	2. thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet~
> 
> Which reminds me, Happy Birthday to my One and Only [luzrovrulays](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luzrovrulays) ~❤

“I never knew you got seasick, Ryuji. You never mentioned it before.”

“I didn’t know either...longest I’ve been on a boat is a couple hours, not a whole day...” Ryuji let out a groan and curled up even more of his side. The blanket was bunched up at the end of the bed after he claimed to be overheating too much to be able to use it. “I don’t know how I’ll do two more days of this...”

“Hopefully it will subside soon,” Tomohisa touched the cloth he had over Ryuji's eyes and frowned at how warm it was already getting. He should probably run it under some water again soon. “Is the medicine helping your stomach yet?”

“Yeah...a little...” Ryuji’s eyes opened slightly to look at him. “You don’t feel sick, too? Not even a little?”

“Not at all. I’m used to being on the water like this,” Tomohisa shrugged. “My family has several yachts so I’m used to spending time like this.”

“Several yachts...of course you do...”

“Did your family never have one?”

“A small one but...I don’t spend much time on it...liked the cabin and swimming more...” Ryuji’s voice trailed off into low mumbles as he pressed his face into the pillow and let out a low groan. Tomohisa’s worry increased. He’s never seen Ryuji so out of it like this.

“When you’re feeling up to it, I’ll find something for you to eat. I think apples and crackers are good for these things.”

“Urg...please don’t mention food,” Ryuji suddenly sat up, the cloth falling next to him. He covered his mouth with his hand with a pained look. “I don’t think I can handle throwing up all over again.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Not unless you have some miracle cure for this,” Ryuji rubbed his hands against his eyes. “I feel so gross right now...it doesn’t even feel like I just showered...”

Tomohisa took in Ryuji’s ragged appearance, his chest hurting over the fact there wasn't much he could do to help him. The only reason they were here was because they were doing a reporting job together along with Yuta and Tatsuhiro for Bambi. It was a small cruise ship that would only be out for 3 days and two nights.

Ryuji had been okay when they first arrived and got settled into their room. It wasn’t very big and wasn't exactly comfortable for four people but it was good enough to sleep in. As the day passed, however, Tomohisa began to notice how Ryuji started to grow quieter and quieter. He barely touched the snacks they were given and mostly kept to drinking water. Finally, just as they finished up the first part of their filming, the ship suddenly jerked as it hit a rough wave. Ryuji’s complexion turned almost green and he barely made it to the side of the ship to lean over the railing and throwing up whatever was in his stomach.

He’s been in the room they all shared together ever since.

“You can leave.” Ryuji said suddenly. “You don’t have to stay here.”

“I’ll be more comfortable leaving once I know you’re done getting sick.” Tomohisa frowned. He took the facecloth and went to the small bathroom they had to run cold water over it again.

“I don’t think there’s anything left in me to get sick with...”

Ryuji was laying down again with his arm over his eyes when Tomohisa came back. He looked annoyed when Tomohisa moved his arm.

“Lift your head for a second. It’ll help better to put this on the back on your neck.”

“Then my pillow will be damp later.” Ryuji frowned. His took the cloth from him and placed it on his forehead. “This is good enough”

“Are you sure?”

“I am!” Some of his stubbornness seemed to be sparking up and the relief of it made Tomohisa laugh weakly. It felt like Ryuji really will be okay now.

He started to run his fingers through Ryuji’s hair without thinking it through much. It was starting to get longer. He wondered if Ryuji would grow it out. He thought it would suit him.

He didn’t fully realize he was still doing it until Ryuji gave him a confused look.

“S-Sorry,” Tomohisa felt his face heat up as he pulled his hand away. To his surprise, Ryuji grabbed it and placed it over his head again.

“I like it.” Was all he said before closing his eyes once more. So Tomohisa kept at it. Even while damp, Ryuji’s hair was smooth and fell through his fingers like water. Tomohisa wondered what he did to make it like that. He knew Ryuji liked keeping up his appearance but he didn’t know what he did to achieve it. It was something he’s always been curious on but never occurred to him to ask about.

Eventually, Ryuji’s breathing had evened out and slowed enough that Tomohisa knew he was finally asleep.

That was a relief. It really was strange seeing him so sick like this. He really must not have known that he was prone to seasickness if he wasn’t prepared for it to him him so badly.

Tomohisa was a little surprised Ryuji let him take care of him, even if he complained a little over it. He likes to think they really have gotten closer this past few years. At the very least, he knew now Ryuji trusted him and was comfortable enough to let Tomohisa see him at a low point like this and look after him.

Making sure one last time that Ryuji really was asleep now, Tomohisa left a note saying he would be with the others before quietly leaving the room.

* * *

“Is Ryu-Chan okay!?”

“How is he?”

Yuta and Tatsuhiro were quick to hurry to him when Tomohisa entered the eating area of the ship. Behind them was Yashamaru following at a calmer pace.

“He’s sleeping now that he’s not getting sick anymore,” Tomohisa rubbed his neck. “The medicine helped a lot.”

“Its a good thing I brought something just in case one of you gets ill while we’re here,” Yashamaru sighed. “That stuff will most likely knock him out until this evening. I’ll have to talk to the staff about the evening shoot in case Ryu-Chan’s not feeling up to see what arrangements can me made. For now, you three can relax on the upper deck until I know more.”

“Thank you again for the medicine, Yashamaru-San.” Tomohisa said, gratefully.

“Of course, it's my job to take care of you kids. Stay out of trouble now.” Yashamaru waved as he walked away.

Once he was gone, Yuta let out a heavy sigh and shifted anxiously in place.

“I hope Ryu-Chan will be okay. I didn't know how to react when he got sick...”

“Did you know he got seasick, Kitakado?” Tatsuhiro asked.

“I didn't. I was surprised, too,” Tomohisa shook his head. He glanced at Yuta, noticing how he kept looking towards the exit. “He might be up to eating something light later, though. I was planning on checking on him in an hour, so how about we bring him something then? We can all go together.”

“Sounds good. I'm sure they have drinks here that's good on the stomach for him.” Tatsuhiro said.

Yuta jumped in place like he was startled.

“Okay!”

Tomohisa laughed, glad to see that eased the mood a little. It was clear they also cared about Ryuji and he was glad they were the ones he was with.

After deciding to check out some entertainment that was planned to start right away, they started heading to the upper deck. About half way through the show, Tomohisa felt his skin start to tingle where his watch was. Confused, he shifted it so he could see what was wrong.

_thank you_

The familiar writing brought a warm feeling inside Tomohisa. He couldn't exactly say there was a pattern to it, but he was starting to notice something with Ryuji. Though he tended to write small reminders on himself (usually food to pick up or something sewing related) he wasn't one to write notes to Tomohisa. Not really. They had phones for that now and used it often.

Yet for things like this, Ryuji seemed to favour using this connection they had. Somehow it felt more intimate, something that only they could share. It made Tomohisa smile.

Maybe this connection would mean more to him than he originally thought.

* * *

* * *

* * *

Ryuji didn't do well when he got sick. He always felt so gross and exhausted and even if he felt hungry, just the thought of food made him want to hide away. Seasickness didn't make him feel much different from how regular sickness hit him, thought the nausea was a bit worse.

He didn't expect Tomohisa to be quick to help him out. It was probably his family background that did it. He supposed it would be odd if the son of a doctor didn't do anything. He was growing used to Tomohisa not knowing certain things that the idea he'd be good at taking care of people almost slipped his mind.

Ryuji didn't get sick often but he still learned how to deal with it on his own. He learned how to force himself out of bed to grab what medicine he needed from the bathroom. How usually it was best to sleep in the living since it was easier to keep things within reach there. He figured out what was easier for him to prepare on his own when he felt well enough to eat, though sometimes he forgot what made his stomach worse.

It was strange have Tomohisa hover around him like this. Different from his usual protective side that sometimes irritated Ryuji. It was strange but it made him feel relieved. It had been awhile for someone to take care of all the for him. Even if it was just in this too small room on a cruise ship, he was glad Tomohisa was there for him.

He wanted to thank Tomohisa before he fell asleep but didn't know how to do it right. Not really. It was weird how some things felt so simple with him but other things were harder.

Maybe it was because of being drowsy from the medicine he'd been given but he didn't really think it through when he grabbed the pen nearby and writing “_thank you”_. He knew Tomohisa would see it. He always did, even if he didn't always mention it later on.

He wondered if Tomohisa knew how much such a simple thing meant to him. How much he meant those two words. Probably not. It's not like this connection made feelings get across, only simple small words and that was probably for the best.

It would be his secret for now.


	3. Jealousy

Ryuji tapped a pen against his thigh, going along with whatever the melody was that was stuck in his head at the moment. He kept at this for awhile before finally getting tired of leaning against the pole holding the canopy up and moving to sit on the steps instead.

He thought the cool air would ease his irritation but it barely did a thing calm his mind.

He knew it was irrational to feel like this. He had no reason to which only increased his annoyance with himself.

“Stop being stupid...” he muttered under his breath.

Ryuji closed his eyes but all that did was make him remember several minutes ago. The party they were at meant they had to mingle with as many people as possible. They're debut was still fairly recent, so the more people they got interested in them here the better. Ryuji could handle that, even if it exhausted him a little.

Seeing so many people take a particular interest in Tomohisa, however, bothered him far more than he thought it ever would. The idea that Tomohisa could end up interested in any of them was even worse.

“...so stupid.” He repeated with a sigh. He leaned back on his hands, wondering how much time passed. He should probably go back inside soon. Part of him wondered if anyone noticed that he slipped away. Maybe not. That was probably best. Less questions for when he went back in. Though Tomohisa probably noticed by now...

His phone was dead so he couldn't message him. He stared down at the pen and heaved another sigh.

_outside _

The writing was a little messier since he used his right hand to write down the word a little under the inside of his left wrist. Ryuji figured it would be more discreet for Tomohisa while still being able to catch his attention.

Not much time passed after that and though he expected it, the voice that came up behind him still managed to startled him.

“Here you are.”

He dropped his pen and looked over his shoulder with narrowed eyes.

“Tomo! Don't sneak up on me like that!”

“Heh, sorry sorry,” Tomohisa chuckled. “I figured you'd hear me walking over.”

He sat down next to Ryuji, close enough that Ryuji wondered if he really could feel the warmth radiating off him or if it was only his imagination.

“How did you know I was over here?”

“Lucky guess,” Tomohisa shrugged. “It’s quieter so I thought I’d try over here first. I tried calling you but I got worried when it went straight to voice mail.”

“Ah, Sorry...I forgot to go charge my phone before we left. I didn't even noticed it died until I got out here.”

“Good thing you have a pen on you,” Tomohisa started twirling the object his fingers. Ryuji didn't remember him having that habit before and wondered if he was catching it from him. The thought of that made him smile a little. “You always seem to have one actually.”

“Force of habit. I'm used to writing notes on myself if I don't have paper around.” Ryuji shrugged. Hard to break a habit he picked up as a child at this point.

“I've noticed,” Tomohisa almost sounded fond when he said that. “So why are you out here? You left rather quickly, did it get too much?”

Ah. So he did notice when Ryuji left.

“Not really. It is a little tempting to leave early though,” Ryuji fiddled with his bangs. He wondered how much he could say to Tomohisa without getting teased. He really wasn't in the mood for that. But seeing Tomohisa's concern made Ryuji want to be honest with him about it. “...I...I got jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Just seeing how people flirt around you like that...I got a little jealous.”

It was embarrassing to admit. Ryuji knew he had no reason to get jealous. He always knew Tomohisa was charming. People were taken him by his princely air. Usually Ryuji didn't care, but tonight it bothered him. Maybe he'd just gotten to used to Tomohisa being nearby.

If that was the case, then he really had to smother these feelings quickly.

“...and I thought I was the only one who got jealous.”

“Huh? What do you have to be jealous of?” Ryuji frowned at the unexpected words. Tomohisa had a small smile. It made Ryuji feel like he missed something that should have been obvious.

“I don’t think you realize how much you attract people, Ryuji. You’re gorgeous with the most infectious smile and fun to talk with. You draw peoples attention. It’s easy for them to be stunned when they meet you.”

Ryuji felt his face burn up. He turned away, hiding his face in his arms.

“What’s with that...”

“Did I say too much?”

“Way too much! Do you know how embarrassing that was to hear!? How do you say stuff like that so easily!”

“Haha, Sorry Sorry,” Tomohisa laughed. Ryuji grumbled in response. “I really mean it though. It’s hard not to feel a little jealous when people try to get close to you.”

Ryuji tugged at the ends of his hair. He really couldn’t picture Tomohisa being jealous. Part of him was convinced he wasn’t actually serious about it but he also knew he wouldn’t lie about something like that. He really wasn't sure how it made him feel.

“They’re wasting their time anyway. I’m not their Soulmate.” He finally said dismissively. “There’s no reason for them to think I’d be interested in them like that.”

“Would you only be interested in someone if they were?”

The question surprised him. He looked up at Tomohisa, unsure how to respond at first since he never expected a question like that. Not from him. His expression made it even harder for Ryuji to figure out what Tomohisa really wanted to know.

“...finding out someone was my Soulmate wouldn’t make me interested in them.” He stared at the ground by his feet. He lightly kicked at a rock near his foot. “Why would I be interested in someone that quickly just because my writing shows up on them if I draw on myself? That’s barely enough to make me feel safe around them. That's why I don't get it when people get so excited when writing shows up, especially when they probably don't even know the person yet. Soulmate or not, I won't stay around them if I don't feel comfortable or safe enough.”

“I see.” Tomohisa paused. Ryuji waited, wondering if he would say anything else. “Do you...feel safe around me?”

“....you already know the answer to that.” At least, Ryuji thought he should know it. He leaned his head against Tomohisa's shoulder. “I wouldn’t be okay living with you if I didn’t feel safe. It’s actually a little annoying how natural it feels with you now.”

He felt Tomohisa's hand brush through his hair. It was brief but enough for Ryuji to notice. He almost wished he kept at it.

They've been living together for awhile now. The company setting up the groups of BPro's living arrangements several months before their official debut. It would be a lie to say that they didn't have their frustrations at first but Ryuji never felt like he hated it. Tomohisa may drive him up the wall sometimes but he's never felt like he wasn't safe with his partner.

Then he heard a small noise, a little quieter than before but unmistakably Tomohisa laughing.

“Whats so funny?”

“Nothing, it’s just...I’m really happy hearing you say that.”

“I make you happy?” Ryuji asked, a little skeptical.

“Very. I’m usually happy when I'm with you.” Tomohisa’s smile softened. “I feel safe, too. I think it’s because it’s you I’m living with that it feels like home. I'm not sure I'd feel so at ease living with someone else or on my own.”

He made it sound so simple, like it was the easiest thing possible to say. Ryuji had no idea how he did it but he couldn't deny it did charm him a little.

“....it’s always how you say it.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Pushing himself to his feet, Ryuji stretched his arms over his head then brushed off any dirt that had gotten on his pants. “Well, lets head back inside. I want to try some more desserts that were on the back table.”

“You don’t want to go home anymore?” Tomohisa looked confused.

“Hm, not just yet,” Ryuji held his hands out. “Try some of them with me?”

He knew Tomohisa wasn’t one for too many sweets and he hoped he understood what he was really asking. Even if it wasn't much, he wanted some time with Tomohisa before this party ended.

With a small laugh, Tomohisa took his hands and let him help him up.

“Of course. Lead the way, Ryuji.”

* * *

* * *

* * *

Tomohisa wouldn't say Ryuji was the oblivious type. If anything, he was usually very aware of his surroundings and quick to catch onto things.

Usually.

Yet somehow, he failed to notice when someone was interested in him. More than once, Tomohisa's overheard people commenting on Ryuji's appearance, a little awestruck by his features. Tomohisa wasn't surprised by this. Ryuji had been doing modeling for years now and took special care into his looks. And usually Tomohisa didn't pay much attention to these people.

Usually.

Yet whenever Ryuji was approached, Tomohisa couldn't help by feel a tug in his chest. It took him awhile to realize what he felt was probably jealousy, though he wasn't exactly sure yet what he was jealous of. Even Ryuji seemed surprised that Tomohisa admitted to such of thing.

That night, however, Tomohisa thought he might understand better now. Like Ryuji, he didn't want to see him surrounded by other people. He wanted moments when it was just them when they were out. Knowing now that they shared that mutual feeling eased the tension in his chest. He never would have guessed they were on a similar wavelength for this. It was a little comforting knowing a little more about how Ryuji felt towards him.

After that, Tomohisa didn't put much more thought into it. Not until Ryuji brought it up again almost two weeks later.

“When did you start to feel jealous?”

Tomohisa blinked. Not sure he heard right, he sat up properly. The weather finally shifted and they brought out the kotatsu, something Tomohisa was instantly fond of. Tomohisa sat had been sitting on one side with his head pillowed in his arms as he watched a new drama while Ryuji silently worked on his embroidery across from him.

He stared at Ryuji but he seemed determined to keep his gaze on his work. It looked like he wasn't going to repeat his question so Tomohisa asked his own.

“What do you mean 'when'?”

Ryuji's hand paused.

“You said you thought you were the only one...when did it start?”

“I can't really say when but...” Tomohisa tapped his hand on the table. He crossed his arms and leaned forward on them. “...I started to notice it when you dyed your hair.”

“What? Really?” Ryuji finally looked up, eyes wide.

“Really. More people seemed to approach you after that...it suits you too well. It makes your eyes seem brighter. More vibrant.”

“And that made you...jealous? Seriously?” Ryuji frowned. Tomohisa chuckled and shook his head slightly.

“I guess part of me wanted to be the only one allowed to be close to you enough to get lost in them. You're enchanting, Ryuji.”

If possible, Ryuji's face became even redder than the cloth he was holding. He ducked his head, his hair hiding his expression.

“You say stuff like that too easily.” his mumble was barely loud enough for Tomohisa to hear.

“You think so?” Tomohisa rubbed his neck, suddenly feeling sheepish. “I'm just being honest.”

“Too honest...” Ryuji put his things on the table and got up, walking towards the kitchen. His tone shifted, like he was forcing himself to remain causal. “Don't feel jealous over something like that. You're the only one I'd easily let near me like that anyway.”

Once again, Ryuji's words eased whatever that tug was in his chest. It made Tomohisa remember Ryuji's own words from that party.

“And you're the only one I'd want to flirt with me.”

He heard a now familiar bang accompanied by an equally familiar pained yelp from Ryuji. With a sigh and slight smile, Tomohisa got up to get the ice pack.

“Did you hit your head on the cupboard door again?”

“WHOSE FAULT DO YOU THINK IT IS!?”


	4. Assume The Worst

“Hey, Tomo...did-did you and Ryu have a fight recently?”

Tomohisa looked over his shoulder when he heard the waver in Kento's voice as they walked into the break room.

“A fight? No, why?”

“Uh, you might...heh, m-might want to look in the mirror...” Kento turned away, covering his mouth. The barely suppressed laughter made his shoulders shake. Confused, Tomohisa did as told and gaped.

A black line from his chin reached up until it disappeared into his hairline.

“.....”

“Pfft! Bahaha! I’m sorry,Tomohisa, but you’re expression-!” Kento leaned against the back of the couch as the laughter finally spilled out. “Oh god. Wow! That's petty even for him. Pfft! What did you do!?”

“....nothing that I’m aware of,” Tomohisa gave a strained smile. “I’ll have to be careful when we leave.”

“Good thing we’re all-pfft-all done for the day,” Kento rubbed at his eyes. “Wow, I needed that. I really needed that. I can’t believe Ryu did that.”

“I can’t either,” Tomohisa murmured. He glanced at Kento out of the corner of his eye. “You sound so certain it’s Ryuji, though. Why is that?”

“Well, it’s not like you’re trying to deny it right now,” Kento shrugged. He seemed to calm down now though there was mirth still dancing in his eyes. He looked to the side, as if gathering his thoughts before saying, “Just noticed some stuff about you two. It was pretty obvious you two didn't want to talk about so I didn't see a point in bringing it up before.”

His words made Tomohisa try to think back, wondering what kind of things Kento could have noticed. He caught his reflection in the mirror again and let out a small sigh. He'd have to think it over later. For now, he should probably try to figure out what made Ryuji draw there of all places.

* * *

The living room was empty when he got home but the TV still on. Tomohisa's first instinct was to check the couch to see if Ryuji had fallen asleep but wasn't there. If he was still home, that just left the other rooms. When the bedrooms where cleared, that just left...

“Ryuji?” He knocked on the door frame of Ryuji's sewing room. Sure enough, he was hunched over his desk on the far end of the room, his head buried in his arms.

Tomohisa walked over when there wasn’t a respond. As he started to suspect, Ryuji was fast asleep. A black pen was sitting loosely in his left hand and when Tomohisa brushed some of his hair back, he could see hints of a black line on his cheek.

“Of course...” Tomohisa shook his head with a laugh. Trust Ryuji to get ink on his face because he fell asleep working on something. Placing his hand on Ryuji's shoulder, he lightly shook him while calling his name. It took a few tries but eventually, Ryuji let out an irritated groan and tried pushing his hand away. The pen fell from his hand and onto the floor with the soft clack.

“What...I'm tired...”

“If you're tired, you shouldn't sleep in your sewing room,” Tomohisa pointed out not for the first nor last time. “Do I have to carry you to your room?”

“Don't,” Ryuji stretched his arms over his head, wincing at the strain in his shoulders. He finally looked up at his partner and did a double take.“Tomo...why do you have a line on your face?”

Tomohisa felt his lips twitch.

“I think I’m supposed to be asking that question.”

“What?” Ryuji‘s brow furrowed. He grabbed the compact mirror that was sitting on his desk. A strained noise left his throat after seeing his reflection and a second later, he was running out with a stressed, “_Are you kidding me_!?”

“At least it’s not permanent?” Tomohisa called after him. Faintly he could hear Ryuji’s “_SHUT UP_!” over the sound of running water.

Tomohisa couldn't hold back his laughter as he went to the living room. He glanced into the bathroom as he passed by to see Ryuji bent over the sink, scrubbing at his face and muttering something incoherent under his breath.

About five minutes later, Ryuji joined him. His face was still flushed from embarrassment, though his left cheek was a bit more vibrant from rubbing off the mark.

“I can’t believe I did that,” Ryuji flopped down on the couch. He looked up at Tomohisa with a frown. He reached over to turn Tomohisa's face to the side. “It's starting to fade now...urg, please tell me you weren’t on camera when that happened...”

“Just finished filming actually. Though I wouldn’t have noticed if Kento hadn’t said anything.” Thinking back on it, Tomohisa realized he did feel it appear but just thought it was just the bright lights giving him a small headache after filming. “He thought you were mad at me.”

“Even if I was, I wouldn’t draw on my face to get back at you. That just gets both of us in trouble.” Ryuji suddenly had a thoughtful look as he dropped his hand. That wasn’t a good sign.

“Ryuji.”

“What?”

“You know I would do it right back to you.”

Ryuji stared at him, as though wondering just how seriously to take his words.

“.....yeah, not worth it.” He said it in the end. It seemed he realized Tomohisa meant it.

“That’s comforting to know.” Tomohisa smiled when Ryuji scoffed.

“I really don't know how people don't realize you're just as bad as I am with these things.” Ryuji shifted over and pulled up Tomohisa’s arm so he could lay down across his lap.

“...so Kento knows?”

“Kento knows.” Tomohisa said quietly, brushing a hand through Ryuji's hair. “It's making me wonder if any of the others figured it out.”

“ha...annoying.” it was low but Tomohisa was still able to catch it.

“We'll have to be more careful if we don't want them to catch on.”

With the way Ryuji was laying across him, he easily felt how Ryuji stiffened at his words.

“It's not that I...” Ryuji trailed off. Tomohisa moved his hand away, frowning slightly.

“Do you not want to hide it anymore?”

“I never said I wanted-!” Ryuji jumped up. Tomohisa's eyes widened at how flushed Ryuji's complexion was. Even Ryuji looked startled at his own reaction.

“I...” he looked at a loss and Tomohisa knew what was coming next. “I-I'm going to THRIVE's for awhile. You...you probably want to relax after work.”

“Ryuji-”

Tomohisa reached out for his hand but Ryuji had already turned away, rushing to the door that shut a little too loudly.

Tomohisa let out a deep sigh and sank against the couch. He ran a hand through his hand as his mind went over what just happened.

He had always thought they were more or less on the same page with this but now it was looking like that wasn't the case. Some kind of misunderstanding built up but he couldn't pinpoint when it happened.

Tomohisa understood Ryuji's knee jerk reaction being to get away from certain things. He didn't hold it against Ryuji since he knew why he had that habit and why it was hard for him to grow out of.

Yet right now, Tomohisa couldn't help but be disappointed this was one of the things Ryuji felt like he had to avoid.

* * *

* * *

* * *

“Ryu-Chan! You didn’t even try this time!”

“I said I’d play a few rounds with you, not the whole time I was over,” Ryuji tossed the controller to the side with a sigh. He leaned back against the mountain of pillows Yuta had on his bed and grabbed one of giant plushes he had. “At least pick a different game. I get bored with the racing ones.”

“Fine,” Yuta pouted. He moved from his place on the floor to the bookcase he kept his games on. “How long are you staying over?”

“I don’t know. From the looks of your fridge, staying for dinner is out of the question. How does THRIVE not starve?”

“Take out!” Yuta grinned over his shoulder. “Goshi's gonna order from this place some staff told him about the other day.”

“Of course.” Ryuji rolled his eyes. He hugged the plush to his chest, pressing his cheek against the soft fur. “I’ll go back when I’m less annoyed.”

He could feel the headache threatening at the back of his head, making his neck and shoulders feel stiff no matter how he tried to relax. Just remembering earlier made his irritation spike again. He really had to force these feelings away.

“....I thought Soulmates were supposed to be good at talking things out but you two are pretty bad at it sometimes.” Yuta said unexpectedly. Ryuji had to force himself not to look up and glare at his friend. “What did you fight about?”

“Don’t bring up something like that...” Ryuji sighed. He hid his face in the plush's fur and his voice came out muffled, “I didn't get in a fight with Tomo. I just got...got annoyed about something. It wasn't a fight.”

“What happened?”

“I just needed some space. Having a connection to Tomo doesn’t mean I have to always be around him.” Ryuji hates how that came out. It made it sound like he was angry with Tomohisa when he was just mad at himself.

He ran away. There was no other way to put it.

The moment he realized they were going to talk about their connection, he ran away. He didn't even want space from Tomohisa, he just panicked and took off first chance he had because...

“...that came out wrong.” He sighed, finally lifting his head. “I just want to get my thoughts together. I don't...I don't want to say the wrong thing to him.”

“Oh...” Yuta looked concerned. It made his heart clench seeing that look. Ryuji had to stop worrying him over stuff like this. He liked coming over here. Yuta helped take him mind off his troubles and THRIVE in general was easy for him to be around. Maybe he shouldn't come over as much when he's upset though. It probably troubles his friend more often than not.

“Hey, Ryu-Chan.” Yuta started hesitantly. “Can I ask you something?”

“I guess.”

Not getting turned down, Yuta moved back over to the bed, leaning on his arms at the end of it.

“Why don’t you like talking about the fact you and Tomo-Kun are Soulmates?”

“Why are you bringing that up again?” Ryuji frowned. “It doesn’t matter if we are. It doesn’t change anything.”

“I just...was wondering. You’re the only one I know that knows who their Soulmate is. So...” Yuta scratched the back of his head, looking a little awkward. “I just wonder...what it’s like.”

It was weird for Yuta to ask something like this. As far as Ryuji was aware, he never showed much interest in Soulmates. Not for awhile, anyway.

“....I don’t think it’s a big deal. I doubt I’m the only one in BPro that has their writing show up.” Ryuji started fiddling with his bangs. He thinks he knows who all has had it appear. Certain habits suddenly picked up to hide their hands or the sudden pauses when writing on themselves. Habits he knew him and Tomohisa had. Ryuji just didn’t know if they knew who it was they were connected to. “It’s not...it’s hard to describe. It’s just something that happens.”

“Does it...does it feel weird? I heard it burns.” Yuta looked worried.

“It did...at first. Now it's a...weaker feeling. Like a small shock that tingles and goes numb.” Ryuji tipped his head back, closing his eyes. “It's strange but...comforting, I guess. When it happens. Knowing someones there.”

He thought back to when Tomohisa's writing first appeared for him. How he'd been startled awake because his arm suddenly hurt. Like he somehow touched hot metal in his sleep and how it itched throughout the day. He never did ask Tomohisa if his hand had burned just as much for him.

Actually, he hasn't asked Tomohisa a lot of things about how this all was for him.

“Tomo...said before he doesn't always notice it sometimes now. Since I'm always writing measurements on myself if I can't find paper when doing my designs. Or I write something I need to pick up. I guess he's used to it now so it doesn't bother him at all.” Ryuji paused. “He doesn't write on himself often so I probably feel it more than he does.”

“Are you okay with it now then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it's just...you were upset about it. When you thought Tomo might have been your Soulmate.” Yuta turned around to have his back against the bed. He reached for the game controller as if needing something to hold at the moment. “Back in Bambi, you...you said you didn't like thinking about things like this. And just now, you said you don't think it's a big deal but...when you talk about it, it sounds like you've been thinking about it a lot.”

“....I don't know. I still try not to put too much thought into it,” Ryuji admitted. He looked around the room, trying to figure out how much he wanted to say. How much he was able to say. “I don't want my...what I have with Tomo just be based off this connection we happen to have. A connection that just showed up suddenly. I don't know how this works. Did we end up in Bambi at the same time because of this or did it happen because we met by chance? How much does it actually influence us even if it's not supposed to change a persons feelings? It gives me a headache thinking about it. If say I like Tomo, I want to know it's because I really do like him. Not because of this...whatever it is.”

It was weird talking about this. He's never actually voiced these thoughts out loud. He wondered if all of this would be easier to handle if Soulmates weren't a thing.

Somehow, he got the feeling he'd still be just as confused.

“Ryu-Chan...” there was a strange tone in Yuta's voice that made Ryuji look at him. To his confusion, Yuta was looking at him with wide eyes. “You just...”

“What?”

“You...ah, nevermind,” Yuta scratched his cheek, looking sheepish. “I didn't realize how complicated Soulmates could get. It's too bad we could pick our Soulmates....”

“That's no different from just dating. You just keep meeting people until something happens. Besides, plenty of people date without caring about finding their Soulmate in the end,” Ryuji pointed out. It made him curious though. “What kind of person would you want anyway?”

“Ah, well, that’s...I can’t really say...” Yuta’s face flushed.

“Huh? Why not? Just from your expression, you have to have someone in mind.” Ryuji frowned.

“I don't!” Yuta huffed. For some reason, he wouldn’t look Ryuji in the eye. “I haven’t even had my Soulmates writing show up. And I don’t know if mine shows up in theirs yet. Maybe I don’t even have one?”

“That’s possible. It wouldn’t be a huge surprised if it took years or never happened anyway,” Ryuji didn’t realize how almost cruelly blunt his words were until he saw how Yuta’s expression fell. “Ah, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant it’s not as common as before. Technically, Tomo and I are the weird ones having them show up when they did. People are usually older when it happens. Even if you never get it, it’s not like you’ll never find someone. Tomo’s parents weren’t Soulmates.”

“Oh right, I forgot about that...” Yuta mumbled. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before giving Ryuji's a playful look. “If you could pick, I bet you’d still pick Tomo-Kun as your Soulmate, Ryu-Chan. You’ve always had a soft spot for the princely type.”

“I think Tomo’s more the ridiculous type than princely.”

“So you’re saying he still is your type?”

“I didn’t say that!”

* * *

Eventually Ryuji was able to bring himself to finally go home. It was a little later than when he planned to leave but he still hadn’t expected to see Tomohisa asleep on the couch. He was wearing his reading glasses and judging from how the book was positioned on the floor, he dozed off while reading it.

With a sigh, Ryuji kneeled beside him.

“Why do you keep falling asleep with these on...” He muttered as he removed the glasses. He inspected the frames, making sure they weren’t bent much more than they already were before placing them on the table. He’s surprised this pair has lasted so long.

Seeing him close up and asleep like this, Ryuji could almost pretend he imagined the look on Tomohisa's face when he left. As if he never noticed Tomohisa reaching out to him so he would stay.

Thinking about it, he couldn't blame his partner for assuming he wanted to hide this from everyone. Ryuji really didn't want anyone to know back then. Idols can't let it slip they have their Soulmates writing appear. The less they knew about it, the better. So if they never talked about it, it wouldn't feel too real.

If you turn a blind eye, you can pretend a little longer not to know. It was childish but it was something that's been a twisted comfort for Ryuji over the years.

So why did he hate the idea of Tomohisa thinking he never wanted to tell the others about it?

With a sigh, Ryuji leaned his head against the couch by Tomohisa's arm.

“Hey, Tomo...if we weren’t connected, would you even want someone like...” his voice trail off. Would he really want an answer to a question like this?

He knew Soulmates weren't set in stone. They didn't influence your feelings as much as some believed they did. His family was proof of that. Yet Ryuji couldn't deny the strong desire he had to always be near Tomohisa.

He just didn't know if Tomohisa felt it too and he was afraid to ask about.


	5. Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally I try to do the chapters half & half with the POV's but this time I decided to divide the chapter up and have this one fully Tomo's since it flowed better that way~
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

When Ryuji temporarily lost his memories, his writing never showed up on Tomohisa.

Tomohisa hadn't noticed at first. His focus was all on making sure Ryuji was okay and comfortable, trying to keep his stress down. He was sitting by Ryuji’s hospital bed, watching him draw on some paper he brought for him. They still had a few hours until the photoshoot later and though Tomohisa would rather not risk him going, Ryuji was determined to still do it. Even like this, he had a strong stubbornness with doing what he loved.

Though his chest hurt seeing Ryuji like this, he couldn’t stop the slight fondness that came from watching the concentration in Ryuji's expression as he coloured his drawing. It was so similar to how he got when working on his designs back home. Tomohisa could almost pretend nothing had changed.

Almost.

Tomohisa didn’t realize something was off until he noticed the bright marker stain on the side of Ryuji’s hand. That's when he realized Ryuji had been drawing with his right hand instead of his left.

Automatically, Tomohisa looked down at his right hand and felt like ice water was dumped on him.

Nothing was showing up.

Why?

Tomohisa frowned, trying to push down the panic in his chest and figure out some rational reason for it. But it was hard. His chest felt too tight and blood pounded in his hears in time with his heartbeat.

This has never happened before, so why now?

“Kitakado-San?”

Tomohisa's shoulders shook.

With a deep, slow breath, he forced himself to relax and looked up at to see Ryuji's worried look.

“You look upset. Whats wrong?”

“Ah, its...nothing. I was just thinking and got lost in my thoughts.” Tomohisa smiled and was grateful when it seemed to ease Ryuji's concern for him. He couldn't stress Ryuji out right now. So instead he gestured towards Ryuji's hand, saying, “Make sure we remember to wash your hands when you're done colouring. It'll stain your skin for the photoshoot.”

“I know, I know...” Ryuji pouted. “Mom bugs me about that, too, I know already!”

“Does she?”

“She uses her left hand, too. She said it's easier to smudge stuff if I'm not careful.” Tomohisa bit his lip to keep from mentioning how Ryuji was still bad for smudging his writing at times. “She said I have to practice more with my right hand so I can use both when I’m older but it's annoying. I like my left hand better, it's easier.”

“Really?” It was something Tomohisa already knew but this Ryuji wasn't aware of that.

“Yeah. She said it makes things easier when you use both hands. My Dad says he always has to change how he wears his watch because she changes hands all the time.” Ryuji’s eyes sparkled and he leaned towards Tomohisa with an excited smile as he pushed his markers aside. “Hey, Hey, Kitakado-San, did you know? They’re Soulmates! They write things to each other sometimes when the other isn’t home. Mom gets really happy when Dad writes to her. She said it’s more special than a phone call because it means your Soulmate is thinking about you! It's something really special to have!”

Such cheerful happy words should have made Tomohisa smile fondly but he found it was a struggle as his heart sank instead.

Seven-Year-Old Ryuji loved the idea of Soulmates. He got excited thinking about his parents sharing something special and was more than happy to share it.

Yet now it was something Ryuji struggled to talk about, even with him.

Tomohisa couldn't help but wonder at what point between when he was little and when they met in Bambi did Ryuji's feelings change so much over it.

“That’s...that’s great to hear. Not many people are so lucky.” Tomohisa managed to say.

“They’re really lucky. My sister doesn’t think so because they fight sometimes but Dad said she’ll understand when she finds her Soulmate.” Ryuji smile suddenly wavered as he looked down at his drawing. With a pang, Tomohisa finally took a good look at it and realized it was a drawing of four people. “Hey, Kitakado-San. Are my parents gonna come yet? I wanna see them.”

Tomohisa thought back to Atsushi trying to get a hold of Ryuji's family. Of stepping out himself to call and get them to come as soon as possible.

Remembering all that, maybe it wasn't so hard to realize why parts of Ryuji's thinking changed from back then.

“Ah, no, I’m sorry Ryuji. They still can’t come.”

“Oh....” Ryuji’s shoulders sagged. He fiddled around with a blue marker and looked at the light smudges on the side of his hand. His gaze flickered over to where Tomohisa's hands rested on the bed. “Kitakado-San, have you found your Soulmate yet?”

Tomohisa blinked, not expecting that question.

“I have.”

“What are they like?”

“....he’s very special. He has a light in his smile that lights up wherever he is. He's the most radiant person I've ever met.”

And Tomohisa almost lost that light last night.

It was suddenly hard to catch his breath and Tomohia hadn't been more grateful for a nurse to show up just them to take Ryuji's vitals and check on his stitches and bruising.

In the hall, he took a deep breath to center himself better. He could keep it together a little longer.

* * *

Yesterday, Tomohisa had thought that seeing Ryuji bleeding at the bottom of a staircase was the worst thing that he could go through.

But then Ryuji forgot who he was.

And then he had to see him almost get hit by a car.

There was still the echo of tires squealing ringing in his ears. He wasn't sure it would fade any time soon but the sound of Ryuji saying his name again helped push it away.

Even if he sounded exasperated at the same time.

“Tomo, I swear it you asked your father to check over me again, you're sleeping on the balcony.” Ryuji warned when Tomohisa came back to the waiting room. He was slummed down in a chair and Tomohisa would have thought nothing of it if he didn't catch how uncomfortable he looked shifting around.

“You shouldn't sit like that if you're still sore, Ryuji.” Tomohisa helped him to his feet.

“I'm fine. I already got the all clear to go home,” Ryuji huffed. “So? Is everything okay? You didn't convince him to keep me another night, did you?”

“I didn't.” It was probably best not to let Ryuji know he had tried. “I just wanted to ask him something before we left.”

“About me?”

“About you.” Tomohisa confirmed. His lips twitched when he saw Ryuji's patience grow thin. “I'll tell you when we get home. Are you ready?”

“I've been ready since we got here.” Ryuji huffed

* * *

“So? What did you ask him about?” Ryuji came into his room where Tomohisa was waiting for him. His hair was slightly wavy where it was still damp from his bath and was starting to frizz out more from the hair dryer. When he settled down against his pillows next to him, Tomohisa realized Ryuji was also wearing one of his shirts as pajama shirt but chose not to comment on it.

“While you were...” Tomohisa was unsure what to say. “When you're memory was gone, the marks stopped.” Ryuji, who had been tugging at a strand of hair, froze. “In your hospital room, you were drawing and got ink on your hands but it never appeared on me. I tried writing on myself later on but it never affected you either.”

“...what?” Ryuji's eyes widened. “What do you mean it stopped? Is it still-”

“I don't know. I haven't tried yet.”

Ryuji stared at him, anxiety flickering in his eyes. He moved to the edge of his bed. Tomohisa watched as Ryuji pulled open the drawer of his night stand and dig through it. Once he found a pen, he pulled the cap off with his teeth and quickly wrote something on his right hand.

It only took seconds for it to appear but it had felt like hours.

The back of Tomohisa's right hand tingled and there in familiar writing was his name.

_Tomo_

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He didn't know what to make of the relief that suddenly hit him and tried to push it to the back of his mind.

When he showed Ryuji his hand, Ryuji's shoulders sagged with that same relief also. He held Tomohisa's hand in his, tracing over the writing like he was afraid it would disappear before it's usual time.

“Why...why did it stop though...?” he asked quietly, looking uncertain. Tomohisa watched him, using this moment to just take in the feel of Ryuji's touch against his skin.

“I asked my father what he thought happened.” He finally said. “I wanted to know if he had an idea about it. Why the writing would suddenly stop the way it did.”

“Your father...so he knows?” Ryuji frowned. His grip on Tomohisa's hand tightened slightly. Tomohisa ran his thumb over Ryuji's knuckles, hoping to reassure him.

“I think he's known for awhile,” Tomohisa smiled, feeling a little helpless. He thought back to how his father looked slightly amused but a little sad at the same time. He wondered if it was the current situation his father felt sorry for or conflict over the connection his son had. “I'm not sure how...maybe Andy noticed and said something. I was too worried about you to really ask about how he found out.”

“...so, what did he say?”

“He thinks because your mentality went back so far, it was just an after effect of it. Even if we're...outside the norm and got ours early, we still hadn't met when you were Seven. Because of that, the writing not showing up was a reflection of that.”

“So if I had stayed like that...we'd lose the connection.” Ryuji frowned.

“Probably.” Tomohisa wasn't sure how he felt about that. It had been bad enough that Ryuji had forgotten him, adding another loss to their relationship...

He really didn't want to imagine that.

Ryuji shifted closer until he was pressed up against Tomohisa's side. Tomohisa put his arm around his shoulders for he was more comfortable.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked when Ryuji remained silent.

“About when we got our connection. Why...why do you think it happened so soon?” Ryuji tipped his head back to look at him. “We were both still in middle school when we met. Isn't this kind of thing supposed to happen when you're older?”

“Yeah. They say it's because you become more aware of who you are as you age so it's easier to find your Soulmate over time.”

“More aware, huh...” Ryuji repeated. “Sounds complicated.”

“You think so? I don't think it's much different from regular dating.” He tried to be cautious, wondering how much he can get Ryuji to talk about this. “As you get older, you change and have a better idea of what kind of person you want to be with. So it makes more sense to find your Soulmate later in life.”

“...funny. I think I said something similar to Yuta once,” Ryuji sighed with a small smile. “Okay. Say that's true. So...what happens when you find them right away? Is it not going to work out because you change when you get older? I've read that some people have their Soulmates change. Isn't that too fickle? Why even have something like this if it'll just change?”

Ryuji's voice was too quiet. Tomohisa didn't like it.

He remembered how happy Ryuji had been before, talking about Soulmates and excited thinking about it. How different it was from the Ryuji he knew. Was this one of the thoughts that were bugging Ryuji this whole time?

“...I think if you find each other so soon, it just means you have the chance to see the person grow. You get to see them go through those changes and change with them. You get to know who they were before and who they are now. And even if the writing did stop permanently, I don't think it's a bad thing. It might feel like more of struggle, but you get to work through it together. Just because the physical proof is no longer there doesn't mean the bond is a lie.”

This time when Ryuji looked at him, his eyes looked brighter than usual. Tomohisa could see the uncertainty in them and felt like for the first time, he finally understood just how Ryuji felt about this.

He was afraid that this wouldn't last.

Ryuji turned away, blinking rapidly. “Have I changed since we first met?”

“You have.” Tomohisa smiled. “And I'm looking forward to seeing how much more you change as time goes on. Have I changed?”

“You're a lot more annoyingly bold now.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn't a compliment!”

“It wasn't?”

“Of course not!”

Ryuji threw a pillow at Tomohisa, who just laughed as he brought up his hands to shield his head. That just seemed to irritate Ryuji even more for he tossed the pillow aside in favour of messing up Tomohisa's hair while grumbling about what other parts of him were annoying now. It would have been more effective if Tomohisa didn't see how more and more flustered his partner was getting, which only made him laugh even more. He was reluctant to stop him but he did have to remind Ryuji that he had to take it easy for now. That only got him a quick tug on his hair before finally settling down.

It wasn't much in the end, but this was probably the closest they've ever gotten to fully talking about their bond since moving in together. And now that he knew for sure that Ryuji would be okay, they'll have more chances to talk about it.

Another step forward.


	6. Simple Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly, a non Soulmate related chapter! Just some simple TomoRyu interaction since I didn't want every chapter be them thinking about their bond and needed some fluff after the angst last chapter.

“This is all your fault! '_It's barely cloudy out let's just walk back_', why do I still listen to you with these things!”

“I said sorry already! You're just mad your hair gets frizzy when it rai-Ow!”

Yuta rubbed his ribs where Ryuji had elbowed him as they walked through the building doors. Ryuji rolled his eyes and pulled off the sweater Yuta gave him closer. It was soaked all the way from the rain but it did still managed to block some of the wind.

“_My _hair is fine. Yours is looking like cotton candy though.” Ryuji reached up to press down on Yuta's bangs but they jumped back into their messy place when he let go. “You better not get sick because you gave me your sweater.” Ryuji eyed the way his friend was starting to shiver. He grabbed Yuta's hands and frowned at how cold they were. “Your floor is closer than mine. Let's just go to your place and change there.”

“Y-You're-You're not gonna go up to your pl-place?” Yuta's teeth chattered so much it was making his stutter. His cheeks were tinting pink, making Ryuji worry he might actually start getting sick.

“I forgot my key and Tomo hasn't replied if he's home.” Ryuji started for the elevator. “And I really want out of these wet clothes. I'll just borrow something from Goshi.”

“Why Gochin? Mine are better.” Yuta pouted.

“His fit better. And I like that red bunnyhug he has. Plus I wanna see how long it takes him to notice it's missing.” Ryuji grinned.

“I can't believe I lost to a bunnyhug!” Yuta whined.

“Pfft, why are you making it a competition?” Ryuji shook his head with a laugh just as the elevator came to a still.

“Your face is looking warm, Ryu-Chan. Maybe you're the one getting sick.” Ryuji pushed Yuta's hand away before it could touch him.

“Hey, I don't need you messing up my hair more than it already is!”

“Oh, so you do know it's a mess right now?” Yuta grinned.

“Shut up and go open the door.”

“Yeah, Yeah.”

Once they were in, right away Ryuji had noticed a pair of shoes that stood out against the others at the entrance.

“I think those are Tomo-Kun's?” Yuta seemed to notice also. He kicked off his shoes and hung up the wet sweater Ryuji was still holding so it could dry. “Did you know he was coming over?”

Ryuji tried to think back to see if his partner mentioned anything but shook his head.

They found Tomohisa in the living room sitting next to Goshi on the couch. The both had headphones on, all their focus on the laptop that was set on the coffee table.

With a quick glance, Ryuji knew Yuta had the same thought he did and grinned. They slowly made their way to the couch, taking care not to make any sound that could alert the two. Once they were right behind them, Ryuji silently counted down from three and then he grabbed Tomohisa from behind while Yuta grabbed Goshi.

"Tomo!"

"Gochin!"

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"Ryu-!"

Goshi jumped up so quickly that he ended up pulling Yuta halfway over the couch. With a startled yelp, Yuta hit the cushion face first. With another swear, Goshi grabbed a pillow and threw at Yuta.

Tomohisa stayed in place since Ryuji held onto him tightly, but Ryuji could feel how startled he'd been. Ryuji pressed his head against Tomohisa's shoulder. He attempted to muffle his laughter but gave up when he felt Tomohisa stiffen when water dripped onto him from Ryuji's hair.

“Oh my god...Pfft! You never call me 'Ryu'...that was hilarious!”

"Why are you soaked?" Tomohisa untangled Ryuji's arms from around him and walked around the couch to stand next to Ryuji. When he took Ryuji's hands, Ryuji realized just how cold he was.

"We got caught in the rain on our way back. There wasn't a high chance for it and neither of us bothered to bring an umbrella." Ryuji explained. His lips twitched and another giggle slipped out. “Hehe, S-So. Were you so startled you couldn't even finish my name? Are you going to start calling me '_Ryu_' now, too?”

Tomohisa shook his head with a sigh and looked away, a small smile on his lips. This was his version of being exasperated and it only made Ryuji laugh more.

"Why the hell didn't you just take a cab back here?" Goshi took off his bunnyhug, scowling as he checked to see if it got wet from Yuta. After giving it a quick look over, he threw it at Ryuji since there was no more pillows within reach. Ryuji caught it and to his delight, realized it was the one he wanted to take.

"A little rain didn't hurt anyone!" Yuta grinned from where he laid on the couch before immediately sneezing right after. Goshi jerked back with a look of disgust.

"If you get sick it's your own damn fault. And don't sneeze all over the couch, that's gross!"

"Gochin will take care of me if I get sick, right?"

"Like hell I will!"

"Why not!? Gochin, don't be mean!"

“Make Aizome take care of you!”

“KenKen sucks at looking after sick people!”

Ryuji laughed at the exchange. Even though Goshi argued it, he knew he'd take care of Yuta if he did end up catching a cold. His attention was pulled away when Tomohisa pushed his bangs back to feel his forehead.

"You should go change before you catch a cold, too, Ryuji." Tomohisa frowned. He pressed the back of his hand to Ryuji's cheek. Ryuji pushed his hand away but still held onto it.

“Yeah, I know. I was planning on borrowing some clothes here since I forgot my key but if you're here, I'll just go back with you.” He glanced at Goshi then back to Tomohisa. “Unless you need to finish up then I'll just take the key.”

“I think we're done for today?” Tomohisa looked over at Goshi to make sure.

“Yeah, we're good. Not like we'll get anything done without Ashu getting in the way now.”

“Hey!”

“Shut up and go shower before you get hypothermia!”

“Well, that answers that.” Ryuji rolled his eyes while Tomohisa laughed. With a short goodbye, the two headed back for their own place. Ryuji didn't waste a second rushing his room to discard his wet clothes before taking a hot shower himself. With a satisfied sigh now that he wasn't freezing, he pulled the bunnyhug over his head before heading back to the living room.

“So why didn't you two take a cab back?” Tomohisa asked when he spotted him.

“Ah, Yuta convinced me the walk wouldn't be too bad. But then the rain got worse when we were almost home and then I just felt like a drowned cat.”

“A cute drowned cat though.”

“How is a drowned cat cute?” Ryuji's face scrunched up at the though. Tomohisa was weird.

“You make everything look cute,” Tomohisa glanced down at Ryuji's clothes. “You took Goshi's sweater?”

“I want to see how long it takes Goshi to notice,” Ryuji shrugged. He fell onto the couch and brought up his feet to rest in Tomohisa's lap while grabbing a pillow for his head. “What were you two doing anyway?”

“He was looking over my song. You said he's the best to go to so I thought I'd ask if he could tell me his thoughts on it.”

“And he agreed right away?” Ryuji frowned. “I had to bug him for a week before he finally said he'd work with me on mine.”

“Maybe he'd be more willing to help if you didn't do things like steal his sweaters to purposely bug him.” Tomohisa reached over to tug on the end of bunnyhug.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Ryuji grabbed his phone and saw a text from Goshi demanding his bunnyhug back. Huh, that happened sooner than he thought it would. Ignoring it for for now, he opened his weather app instead. “Hey, it's supposed to be nice out this weekend. Do you want to do something?”

“Like a date?”

“Why do you jump to that idea so quickly?” Ryuji dropped his phone on his chest to give Tomohisa a flat look. All he got in return was that stupid smile. He tried to shove him with his foot but Tomohisa grabbed his ankle before he could barely lift it. “No, not a date. We can grab some kakigori and go to our usual spot. It's been awhile since we've gone there.”

Tomohisa looked like he was about to say something before confusion filled his expression instead.

"Kakigori?"

* * *

* * *

* * *

"What kind do you want?"

"You can decide. I'm not all that sure what's good or not."

"Oh? Are you sure you want me to pick for you?" Ryuji grinned. His eyes were sparkling with mischief and Tomo had to rethink his decision for a moment. Thankfully, though, the stand had pretty simple flavours, much to Ryuji's disappointment, and he had gotten Tomo a green tea one while getting strawberry for himself. When Tomohisa went to pay for them he got elbowed in the side, Ryuji telling him it was his treat that day.The weather luckily did turn out to be nice out that weekend. Tomohisa was startled away by an excited Ryuji, telling him to get up so they can go out together. They spent their morning shopping before heading to the park not far from their building. Right away, Ryuji found a stand set up that was selling the frozen treat he'd been telling Tomohisa about a few days ago.

Tomohisa smiled, remembering the baffled look Ryuji gave him when he didn't know what Ryuji was talking about. He was used to looks like that, realizing how much he missed out on. Sometimes he wasn't sure how to handle it but he was thankful that Ryuji has long since grown used to is, and tends to make it his mission to make Tomohisa experience more things whenever he could.

After getting their treats, they went off to a bench in a nice secluded area to rest at. There weren't many people around, especially around here, so it gave them opportunity to relax better.

Ryuji gave a content hum as he scooped the pink shaved ice into his mouth. “Ah, I've waited forever for this! I don't think I've had any since last fall when I went out with Tatsu.”

“Is it good?”

“It is! Hurry up and eat yours before it melts.”

“Ah, right...”

Tomohisa tentatively tried his. Even though he knew it was green tea flavoured, he was pleasently surprised at how good it tasted like this. He wondered what his expression looked like for Ryuji to let out a bright laugh before returning to his own treat.

"Ah, that's right!” Ryuji sat up straighter almost in panic. “Wait, Tomo, don't eat so quickly or you'll get a-"

"Ah!"

"....brain freeze."

It was a sharp pain in his forehead, like a headache suddenly hitting him at full force. Tomohisa closed his eyes tight and pressed a hand against his forehead.

He's definitely never felt this pain before.

Ryuji took the shaved ice from him and placed it next to his in the space between them before standing in front of Tomohisa.

"Here, here, this will help~" Ryuji's voice was light and filled with suppressed laughter as he took Tomohisa's head in his hands and tilted it back. "You'll be fine. Just press your tongue to the roof of your mouth."

Tomohisa did as he was told. He felt a little silly but several seconds later, the pain was starting to fade.

"Better?"

"Yes," Tomohisa sighed. "Thank you, Ryuji."

"Sorry, I should have warned you not to eat it so quickly," Tomohisa opened his eyes to see Ryuji's amused expression. "You've never eaten ice cream fast like that so I didn't think to tell you."

“I never knew cold treats could do that.”

“Yuta and Hikaru get them all the time. They never learn.” Ryuji's expression shifted and Tomohisa felt his guard go up. "Hey, try some of mine." When Tomohisa gave the frozen treat a wary look, Ryuji giggled. "It's fine, Tomo. You saw what I orders so don't like like I hid hot sauce in this. Just don't eat it so fast this time."

He held out the plastic spoon, waiting.

Though still a little hesitant but took a bite all the same. The strawberry flavouring was sweet and Tomohisa remembered how Ryuji had asked for a little more sweetener to be added to it. It wasn't bad, but he didn't think he would be able to eat that much at once like Ryuji could.

"Not bad," he commented. "It's sweet."

"Yup! It's my favourite flavour!"

"You really like strawberries, huh?"

Ryuji nodded with a smile and gave Tomohisa's a curious look. So Tomohisa scooped up some, holding the spoon out to him. Unlike Tomohisa, Ryuji wasn’t didn’t hesitate to try it. He tucked some hair behind his ear to keep it from falling into his face as he leaned forward to take a bite. A second later, his face scrunched up as he quickly sat back up.

"Urg, why's it so bitter and sweet!?"

"Maybe it's clashing with yours?"

"You seemed fine eating both!"

"I guess I'm just used to it?" Which wasn't a lie. He usually tried Ryuji's treats so he'd grown used to flavours clashing when he was eating.

"....not fair." Ryuji muttered. He ate some more of his, almost pouting as he did so. Once they both finished their treats, Tomohisa went to throw them out. When he came back to the bench, Ryuji pulled him down to sit down again. He turned in place, letting his head fall against Tomohisa's lap while propping his feet against the arm on the bench. Tomohisa chuckled quietly and started to play with Ryuji's bangs. Even after eating something cold, he must be feeling lazy from the heat.

“Hey, do you think the others really don’t know about this place?” Ryuji suddenly asked. Tomohisa looked at him, trying to figure out what was on Ryuji’s mind but his expression was hard to read. He couldn’t tell what kind of answer he wanted.

“I’ve never heard them talk about it before so it’s hard to say,” he replied. “In any case, they’ll probably find it eventually since we’re not too far from home.”

“True....”

He looked up when Tomohisa touched his cheek.

“What’s on your mind, Ryuji?”

“....nothing serious. I just...like having a place like this to ourselves. I know we can always go to the planetarium to be alone but that’s always at night. I like having a place nearby that we can go to during the day. I know they’re our friends but...”

“You didn’t seem to mind showing Tsubasa this place,” Tomohisa teased. Ryuji’s cheeks flushed slightly in response and he gave a slight pout.

“That’s different. It’s Tsubasa, it’s not like she’d go telling everyone about it...”

Tomohisa understood what he meant. Sometimes, moments with just the two of them was hard to come by. Though they had plenty of it at home, it got tiring staying inside for too long.

“We're going to be busy for awhile now that things are picking up. We'll probably be stuck indoors more often than not.”

“Great,” Ryuji sighed. “I love recording but the studio gets so stuffy. I'm glad we got out today though. It's nice getting a break without the rain.”

“I'm glad, too.”

Ryuji smiled softly at him and Tomohisa felt his breath caught. With no warning, Ryuji suddenly swung his legs to the side and jumped to his feet. Stretching his arms over his head, he said, “I'm really not ready to go back home yet.”

"Is there anything else you want to do today?"

"Not really. You?"

"The movie I've been waiting for finally came out so let's stop by the store before we hear back."

"Why didn't you just order it?"

"I forgot since work's picked up a bit. Besides, I get to spend more time with you this."

Ryuji starred at him before shaking his head and walking a bit faster so he was a few paces ahead.

“You're such a flirt. Save that for you're fans.”

“Well, I did say once that you're the only one I want to flirt with.”

“Shut up! That was ages ago!”


	7. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of "because it's you" but don't worry it's not the final ending!

Everything was happening too fast.

It seemed like one minute BPro was working on their new song, some of them already finishing up their solo songs. Then the next minute was full of confusion and stress and not knowing what was going to come at them next.

Ryuji still didn't understand the sudden transfer to a new company. He didn't know how they're song was taken like that. He couldn't figure out why it all happened the way it did and why Yashamaru never discussed it with them before hand. Worst of all, Tsubasa was just as lost as they were if not more so.

“Ah, I wanted to stay out longer...why did we have to come back already?” Yuta whined as they got out of the taxi.

“Because we have to go to the office early tomorrow, and I'm not dealing with Goshi and Kento getting mad at me because they can't get you up in the morning.” Ryuji rolled his eyes.

“I'm a lot better than you at waking up!” Yuta frowned.

“You're definitely worse.”

“Ryu-Chan, you kicked me when I tried waking you up before!”

“You dreamt that.” Ryuji said dismissively. When they got into the lobby on the building, he noticed Mikado on his phone by the elevators. Mikado looked up at the noise and started towards them when he saw who it was.

“Yeah, and I dreamt about the bruise you left me, too...” Yuta mumbled.

“Glad we're in agreeance.”

“Ryu-Chan!”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Mikado cut in when he was close enough. He looked between them, his amusement clear.

“You're not. Yuta was just telling about his vivid dreams.” Ryuji shrugged and winced at Yuta's loud, “_Ryu-Chan_!”

“haha, I see,” Mikado laughed. “Ah, Kore-San, are you busy right now?”

“Hm? No, why?”

“There's something I wanted to talk to you about.” Ryuji couldn't hide his surprise at the request.

“Okay I guess.” He turned to Yuta, telling him he'll meet him upstairs in a bit before following Mikado to the more secluded area of the lobby.

“So? What did you wanna talk about?”

It wasn't often him and Mikado really had much to talk about. Out of MooNs, Ryuji would say it was Tatsuhiro he spent most time around so he wasn't sure what to expect from Mikado.

“It's about the transfer to Highedge.”

“And you have to tell me specifically?” Ryuji raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I would have liked the Prince to talk with also but I ran into you first so I thought it was best to tell one of you as quickly as possible.” Mikado seemed almost sheepish.

So this affected Tomohisa also.

A cold shiver went down his spine.

He didn't like where this was going.

“It sounds like Highedge Records has some strict policies with their contracts. Espeically with Soulmates.”

Ryuji had to force himself to talk through the knot in his throat. “...what do you mean?”

“Momotasu and I have been trying to do some research about them since things are a bit crazy with the sudden change. From what we found out, you have to report if writing starts to appear. They may even ask if you know who it could be.”

“What's the point in that?” Ryuji frowned.

“Probably to make sure nothing appears during work. We can't let fans know we have those kinds of relationships, right?” Mikado shrugged. “So you and the Prince will have to be careful while we figure out what's going on.”

And there it was.

“...since when did you know about that?”

“Just picked things up here and there. Don't worry, I haven't said anything to the others about it.” Mikado added quickly.

Ryuji had figured some of their friends picked up on it but he never thought any of them would outright approach him about it. Least of all Mikado. Now he worried who else knew. The more people knew about it, the more likely it was to get out.

That was one worry he didn't need right now though. So to distract from himself, Ryuji asked, “Tomo and I aside, does that policy affect you at all?”

“Me? Not really. I don't have any writing that I know of and it doesn’t matter to me if it happens or not,” Mikado shrugged. “I’ve already decided Momotasu is my Soulmate, writing or no writing. Nothing can change that.”

“What a Mika answer.” Ryuji mused. He really couldn’t bring himself to pretend to be surprised because really, it suited Mikado. He wondered if Momotaro had the same sentiment.

“I have two loves in my life, Momotasu and Mamirin! No, wait, three! Mamotasu, Mamirin, and MooNs! Not always in that order!”

“You sound way too proud about that...” despite himself, Ryuji found himself smiling. Mikado may have been the reason Ryuji's been so tense the last several minutes but he ended up fixing that right away.

“Actually, I almost envy you though, Kore-San.” Mikado suddenly said, taking Ryuji off guard. Mikado had a soft look. Ryuji wondered what he was thinking about. “You have that extra bond that’s getting harder to come by. You're both lucky to have that together.”

Lucky, huh? “Is it really luck? Soulmates don't guarantee anything.”

“Do you think that because of you're family?” Mikado guessed. Ryuji narrowed his eyes at him. “Sorry, but you know Momotasu is a fan of your fathers. It's suspected his first wife was also his Soulmate isn't it? That's what the rumours say.”

“...yeah. They were. It faded though.”

It was one of the rumours about his family that were true. His father and his first wife were Soulmates. Some time after his sister was born, the writing stopped and they divorced not long after that. Several years later, his father met Ryuji's mother and they've been together since they realized they were Soulmates.

“Would you pick someone else if it did fade?”

Ah. He really hated that question.

It wasn't the first time he's wondered the same thing himself. Him and Tomohisa had briefly gotten close to talking about it once before. It had terrified Ryuji to now that, even briefly, their connection had disappeared. He never wanted to feel that again.

But if it did, would he pick anyone else to share that bond with?

He thought about all the times it brought him comfort having that connection that only he shared with Tomohisa. How conflicted it's left him over the years, how warm it made him feel.

He couldn't picture all that with someone who wasn't his partner.

“...no. I think I’d always pick Tomo in the end. Even if we weren't Soulmates. There’s not much point to...anything if it’s not Tomo.” Ryuji bit his lip. That didn’t sound right. “Wait, no. It’s not that there isn’t much point, it just...”

“It feels better when he’s there. More special.” Mikado finished for him. Ryuji blinked, realizing that’s exactly how he meant it.

It’s felt like he’s always had Tomohisa near by ever since they met in Bambi. Ever since he joined Ryuji for extra practice and Ryuji realized how fun it could be having someone else there.

It was always Tomohisa he wanted to sing with and live with. It was always Tomohisa he wanted to share meals with and turn to when he needed someone. It was always Tomohisa he wanted by his side.

He tried to picture those feelings with anyone that wasn't his partner but he couldn't do it. It made his heart twist too much to even consider it.

Oh.

Oh.

Maybe that’s why.

He always wanted to have Tomohisa by his side.

In every situation, he wanted it to be Tomohisa there for him. He wanted Tomohisa to stand with him through everything just as much as he wanted to stand with Tomohisa. It was always Tomohisa he would choose.

He didn't care about Soulmates. He just wanted Tomohisa to be the one he could say he shared a special connection with.

At some point, he started to love Tomohisa without realizing it.

* * *

After his talk with Mikado, Ryuji wasn't able to put much more thought into his feelings.

Things were happening too fast with B-Project and no one knew what was going on. They were suddenly cut off from the outside, not being allowed to have their phones or internet access. Even their tv channels were limits. They were even cut off from Tsubasa and had no idea how she was doing with all this.

“I don't like this.” Ryuji sat on Tomohisa's bed in their shared room. “Thing's are getting weirder. I want to leave, I'm not comfortable here.”

“I know. I'm not either.” It was a rare time Tomohisa was visibly frustrated. His eyes were narrowed as he stared up at the ceiling. Ryuji wondered what was going through his mind.“I talked to Kazu and Goshi. We'll all be here tomorrow so we'll try to figure something out then.”

Ryuji let out a deep sigh. He turned in place so he could crawl over Tomohisa and plop down in the space between him and the wall.

“This is so annoying...even my bed is bigger than this one.” He huffed. He felt Tomohisa shift around until he was able to roll to his side to face him.

“You could just sleep in your bed.” He pointed out.

“Too far.”

“It's hardly two meters away.”

“Too far.” Ryuji closed his eyes. He wanted to be selfish and stay next to Tomohisa like this. But also... “I haven't really slept since we got here. I don't like it here.”

He already had a hard time sleeping most nights. Sleeping in hotels for a night or two were irritating but manageable.

This place, however, was unbearable.

He couldn't sleep. It felt like they were always on alert for something and didn't know what. Him and Tomohisa had even come to a silent agreement not to write on themselves. Things were too uncertain for them to risk it now. Having that comfort they shared suddenly gone despite being so close left Ryuji feeling anxious.

He felt Tomohisa's hand in his hair, gentle moving through the strands several times before coming to a rest at the back of his neck. It was a comforting touch. Like it grounded him a little better. Ryuji sighed, feeling the tension begin to ease up.

Tomohisa's voice was soft as he spoke near Ryuji's ear. “We'll leave this place soon. I promise, Ryuji.”

Ryuji didn't doubt those words. And it was with that reassurance mixing with Tomohisa's warmth nearby that he was able to finally get some proper rest.

* * *

If things had become chaotic all too quickly for B-Project, then so did it being resolved. If this even counted as it being resolved.

Whatever this counted as, Ryuji was content for now. He watched as Tsubasa tried pulling herself together after bawling her eyes out at seeing them again. Kento was all too happy to comfort her but was quickly shoved aside as Hikaru and Yuta ran to her to get the tears to stop, the others following close behind.

“She's cries so easily. We weren't gone that long.” Ryuji mused.

“She cares about us.” Tomohisa poked his cheek. “Ryuji, you look like you're about to cry to-”

“I am not!”

Tomohisa laughed at his reaction and Ryuji found himself relaxing all too easily at the sound.

After they had gotten Tsubasa settled down enough to take a photo together to celebrate them all together again, they quickly headed to the back rooms to change out of their costumes. Everyone was too eager to get back back and sleep in their proper beds.

Ryuji was just about to follow Tatsuhiro out of them room when Tomohisa caught his hand. Ryuji gave him a curious look. Judging from the soft smile Tomohisa had, there wasn't anything wrong.

“You seem happier. Are you feeling better with everything now?”

Of course his first concern was Ryuji. “Yeah but that's not why I'm in a good mood. Are you feeling better with everything?”

“Actually, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders,” Tomohisa admitted. He gave Ryuji a searching look. “Did something happen?”

“Hm...in a way.”

“Will I get to know what it is?”

“Maybe.” Ryuij turned away with his hands behind his back. He glanced up a bit over his shoulder at Tomohisa with a small smile. “It's my secret for now, though. Right now, I'm just glad we don't have to deal with B-Project being in trouble of moving.”

“I'm glad, too.” Tomohisa squeezed his hand. “Come on, let's go meet up with the others. They're probably waiting.”

“Mm. Right.”

Ryuji knew he was in love with Tomohisa. That's most likely what this was. He was in love with his Soulmate. It shouldn't be such a surreal idea but it was.

He chose Tomohisa to be his partner. He chose to stay with him and be Kitakore together. He chose to protect their bond all these years. He chose to believe that being Soulmates was enough and he didn't have to be so afraid of it like he used to be.

Ryuji loved him because Tomo was Tomo.

And he would always choose him as the one he wanted by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this!!
> 
> I started this fic just as a fun short thing to work on in my spare time and had a lot of fun with it! This fic was more of a set up than anything else as I've planned to do more parts for this AU so please look forward to them!


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